Dear Bianca's Kids:
A couple years ago I lost my 21 year old daughter in a car crash. There was no warning, no goodbyes. Just the phone call every mother dreads. It plays over and over in my head till this day. My baby girl gone and in such a painful way. I would never see her again, never touch her face again, never speak to her again, never smell her sweat scent. All I had left are photos of a life I cherished. This trauma and emotional agony pushed me to a nervous breakdown. I have not worked or functioned the same since.
Burying my child destroyed me. I have and will never recover 100%. I often felt so sorry for parents whose children died. I had no clue how they went on living. Until it happened to me. I have no choice but to go on with my heart ripped out of my chest. If not for myself, for the rest of my children and grandchildren. I felt so sorry for them the past couple years seeing me this way. I just didn't have the strength to pick up the pieces.
I have not celebrated Christmas since my daughter's death and I am thinking this year I must. My grandchildren ( a boy 3 and a girl 12) deserve it. I am slowing coming back to myself as I realize my daughter would never want her niece and nephew saddened with disappointment on Christmas because I couldn't bring myself to buy gifts, or bake cookies or decorate a tree.
Unbeknownst to my family, I have put up my tree and bought items to bake cookies with my grandchildren. I pulled out my decorations and my house looks ridiculous but the kids will love it! I am inviting them over next weekend to surprise them with the fact that Christmas at grandma's is back in action. I am on a fixed income and am asking for just one gift each for my grandchildren. Anything age appropriate would be great. Just something to wrap and put under the tree for them as I cannot afford a single a gift. I would be eternally grateful if you would grant my wish for my grandchildren.